Sam on the Rag
by iSamPuckett
Summary: If you thought CARLY was bad during her period, you haven't seen anything yet! Sequel to 'Carly on the Rag'. One-shot. This is 4 all th reviewers who asked 4 this. u guys rule!


**A/N: Ok, alot of you have been asking for a story about SAM on her period! And i decided to give you 1! But let this be a warning to you: While Carly gets mood swings during her time of the month, Sam just gets mad. Really. Really. MAD. U've been warned...**

**Disclaimer: Im sure if i owned iCarly i wouldnt be writing this, now would i?!**

**Freddie's POV**

I know today is going to be a bad day. Before I even get out of bed, I know. I look over at my Rubber Ducky calendar ('To go with your rubber ducky underpants!' My mom says. Ugh :/) and I see the red dot. Oh Christ. Yep, it's 'that' time again. I hate 'this' time. I hate it with everything in me. I hate it more than Santa being shot by the Easter Bunny. I hate it more than cookies made of raw sewage and vomit. I hate it more than…well, you get the point. I really, really hate 'this' time. I hate when Sam is on her period.

***

I know I should stay in my apartment with my door bolted shut hiding under my blankets. But I can't; I love Carly, and I love being with her. And who knows, maybe I'll luck out and Sam won't be there. I knock lightly on the door.

"WHO THE HELL IS IT?!" Oops. No such luck.

"Sam!" I hear Carly chastise Sam for being so rude. She opens the door. Man, she is beautiful or what? The way her chocolate brown hair falls over her shoulders, the way she always smells like coconuts, the way…

"Freddie!"

"Huh?"

"I said come in!" Carly said giggling. She's so cute when she giggles.

"Oh, sorry I didn't hear you."

"Yeah, cuz you were so busy trying to remember to breathe it takes all of your concentration." Sam said from the couch. I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, well you're so busy-" I yelp as Sam flashes from the couch and tackles me.

"Do you have something to say to me, Fredward?! Because let me tell you, I'm in a real pissy mood today and about a hairpin drop from taking my foot and shoving it up you're a-"

"So who wants snacks?" Carly intergecks with false cheerfulness, successfully deterring Sam from her wrath towards me.

"Oh, I'll have some ham." She says getting off of me as I struggle to catch my breath.

"Man, Sam is heavy." I mutter softly. Suddenly I felt searing pain and the sound of glass shattering as a plate connected with the back of my head.

"That's for calling me fat, Benson!" Sam shrieks with ham in her mouth. How she heard me, I will NEVER know. But all I can focus on is how much my head hurts, and how much I wanna run across the hall crying.

**Carly's POV**

"Oh my God, Sam!" I yell at my best friend, I cannot believe she just threw a glass plate at Freddie's head! I run over and help Freddie off the floor to the couch.

"But Carls, he called me fat!" Sam cried, throwing me a 'pity me I'm right and he's wrong and I'm in pain anyway which makes me more right' look.

"Man, Freddie, your head is bleeding! He better not need stitches, Sam!" I said, glaring at her. She just shrugs.

"Well that's what he ge-ow, ow ow!" Sam said, doubling over in pain. That, I do pity her for. Her cramps are, like 3 times as bad as mine. But it's still no excuse to throw a freaking PLATE at someone's head.

"I'm gonna go across the hall and get Mrs. Benson's first aid kit." I say standing up. "Sam, while I'm gone, take some Midol or Advil or something, and be nice!" As I shut the door behind me, I hear Freddie call,

"WAIT! Don't leave me with her!" But his head is bleeding. I'm sure he'll be fine for five minutes…right?

**Sam's POV**

I don't freaking CARE how much Freddork's head is bleeding. And I hope he has to go to the hospital. He still can't be in as much pain as me. And he called me fat. NOT acceptable. Freddie looks over at me, sheer terror written all over his face. I smile inwardly. Good. I like my prey afraid.

"Um, Sam?" Why he is talking? Does he want to die? "C-carly told you to take some Advil?" Oh, so now he thinks he can boss me around?!

"Who the hell do you think you are, Benson? I don't have to listen to you! I'll take some Advil when I FEEL LIKE IT!" I actually did really want some Advil. My cramps were killing me. But I wouldn't let Fredward be right. Over my dead body. Owwwwww, which might be in five minutes if I don't take Advil. Oh, I hate irony. Freddie looks like he wants to say more, but shuts his mouth and turns away. Smart boy. Ok, WHAT is that sound?! It sounds like a freaking metronome! "Fredwuss, WHAT is that sound?!"

"I'm not doing anything!"

"Fredward, I can HEAR you making noise! Do you think I'm deaf? Or stupid? And you BETTER think before you answer that!" I say as I see his mouth open. He shuts it.

"…Are you talking about my heartbeat? Do you want my heart to stop beating?"

"If it gives me some quiet, then yes, I do!" I see him mutter something under his breath, but I'm currently in too much pain to move, much less teach him a lesson about muttering. I see him put his hand to the back of his head and wince in pain. Now that made me mad.

"Do you think you're in pain, Benson?" Loss of blood must have given him a burst of courage, because he actually answered me.

"No, Puckett, I don't THINK I'm in pain, I KNOW I'm in pain! Don't you know how painful it is to be hit with a glass plate?!" Ignoring the horrible cramps in my abdomen, I run over to him.

"Well, do you know how painful it is to have a period every month! No? Well, let me show you!" And with that, I punch him as freaking hard as I can in the stomach, satisfied when he doubles over in pain. "Well, now you-ow ow ow ow OW!" Now it's my turn to double over in pain. Damn, I hate karma!

**No One's POV**

Carly came back into her apartment with Mrs. Benson's huge first aid kit.

"Sorry it took so long, Freddie, I had trouble finding-What happened here?!" Carly asked, seeing both her friends doubled over in pain.

"Sam didn't take any Advil then she slugged me in the stomach!" Freddie said through gritted teeth.

"Sam!" Carly couldn't believe her friend…well, it was Sam, so she actually could.

"Only because he was being a total nub!" Sam retorted, also through gritted teeth. Carly sighed, got Sam some Advil, who took it gratefully, and bandaged poor Freddie's head.

**Freddie, Carly, and Sam's POV**

Man, I HATE it when it's Sam's time of the month!

**A/N: So watcha think? U gotta feel bad 4 freddie tho lol. So review, nd i hoped u liked it as much as 'Carly on the Rag', or maybe even better!**


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